Question 1

What is body image?

Accepted Answer

Body image is how we think and feel about ourselves physically, and how we believe others see us.
You might find that there are times when you like your body, or parts of your body, and times when you struggle with how you look.

Body image is not just about our weight, it can also be things like:

• Comparing how you look with your friends, with people you follow on social media and celebrities
 • Hiding your body because you feel ashamed of it
 • Struggling to love and accept your body
 • Being embarrassed about your appearance or abilities in intimate situations
 • Feeling as if your body shape is not represented in the media or in fashion and struggling to find clothes which you feel good in
 • Feeling that you are not attractive enough or good enough
 • Comments from friends, family or strangers about your body

Question 2

Body image and pressure

Accepted Answer

Adverts, social media and celebrity culture perpetuate the myth that if you look beautiful you will be successful and happy, but real life is not like this. Everybody comes in different shapes and sizes, there is not one perfect physique.  Much of what we see in the media is not natural, impossible to achieve and maintain, and involves hours of exercise and food restricting, or trickery, airbrushes and filters.

Boys and young men are increasingly growing up feeling the pressure and negative thoughts about their body image.  As an adults, you are likely to feel the same pressures but less likely to talk about it.

People can tell you there is nothing wrong with your body but in your head you might have an ideal of what you should look like, how you should behave and what being a man in today’s world means.

Question 3

How can therapy help you?

Accepted Answer

If you feel that you are comparing your body with images you see every day, you are not alone. Lots of us are affected by images we see around us, which can impact our mental health. It can feel like a lot to live up to. But it doesn’t have to be like this. Through talking therapy you can redress the balance and meaning in your life and learn to accept yourself as the unique and valuable person that you are.

In therapy we can explore your ideas about your body, how you view it, any negative self-talk and obsession with flaws. We can evaluate which self -images are real and which have arisen from unhealthy development of your esteem. Once we have monitored your thoughts and identified the unhealthy, damaging ideas you have about yourself we can look at strategies and develop skills which will allow you to challenge these negative and unrealistic thoughts about yourself and look at the pros and cons of holding onto these beliefs.

For example, you may feel that because of your burn scar that you are ugly and people won't want to look at you. You may feel that because you are male with a small build, you are less masculine. You may feel that your large nose will make you unattractive to women.

When you process these negative emotions about yourself by trusting another human being and having a conversation you have a place for those feelings to go, letting them out can lessen their power and impact on you. If you ignore those feelings or suppress them in the end they manifest and take root and the problem becomes bigger than it ever needed to be.

In its extreme, this can lead to more serious issues like anorexia, social withdrawal, feelings of shame, feeling stuck in life, depression, anxiety, and even self-harm and suicidal thoughts.

Question 4

Deciding to have cosmetic or plastic surgery

Accepted Answer

It might be that after some exploration of your body image and goals and some careful research you decide that surgery is the right option for you, and that in addressing that one thing which you would like to change about yourself you will gain greater peace of mind. And that is a good outcome.

Or you might feel that cosmetic surgery will not bring you the happiness you thought it would and decide not to proceed. And that is also a good outcome.

I will not judge or give advice, but I will be here to facilitate to work out with you what is right for you, by gaining a greater understanding of yourself.

Areas of specialised male surgery you might want to talk to me about are:

• Urology – penis enhancement, erectile dysfunction
 • Gynaecomastia (man boobs)
 • Facial surgery – rhinoplasty, eye bag removal, Botox and fillers, facelift
 • Ottoplasty (ear pinning)
 • Liposuction and 6 pack contouring, Vaser, Smart Lipo
 • Calf implants
 • Hair transplants
 • Cosmetic Dentistry
 • Skin issues such as acne and acne scars, stretch-mark
 • Weight issues, such as feeling overweight or wanting to achieve more bulk
 • Surgical scars
 • Self-harm scars 
 • feeling as though your body does not match your gender identity

You are welcome to email me or call me with any questions or can book a complimentary 15 minute chat on the phone to ascertain how we might work together and what you want to talk about.

Question 5

What research tells us?

Accepted Answer

Research shows that men are far more likely to suffer in silence out of fear that showing vulnerability is not the manly thing to do. Men are much less likely than women to confide in their friends and bottling things up can make the problem bigger.

Therapy is here to empower you to have that conversation. If you have any worries of your own the key message is to share them with somebody you can trust.

The less obsessed men are with their appearance, the happier they are.

For Men